


No Wish To Stay Ashore

by Jalules



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bath Sex, Blackrom, F/F, Sexual Content, enough puns and prose to choke a seahorse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-25
Updated: 2012-05-25
Packaged: 2017-11-06 00:29:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/412721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jalules/pseuds/Jalules
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade can hear the telltale splash from down the hall. She’s got a tattered skirt in hand, a fire in her belly, and now she knows where to go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Wish To Stay Ashore

**Author's Note:**

> A request fic for tumblr user my-pleasant-good-morning.

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Jade can hear the telltale splash from down the hall.

The heavy slop of water against the sides of the tub makes her ears perk, swivel, as she listens.

A dribble, a _giggle_ , and she can’t hold in a low growl.

She’s got a tattered skirt in hand, a fire in her belly, and now she knows where to go.

Fabric twisted and balled up between her fingers, she stomps down the hall and shoves the bathroom door open without a pause to check if it’s locked- she knows it won’t be, trolls don’t lock doors for some reason, like they expect that they’ll just stay closed no matter what somehow.

Another splash, a squeak, and Feferi looks at her with wide eyes, glowing gold and innocent, innocent as the pout of her lips as she sits up out of the water and stares at Jade with just a hint of indignation.

“Well, look who’s barging in!” She says, sort of teasing, sort of actually annoyed. Her notoriously long baths are important, good for her health apparently, and she takes them very seriously.

There’s no reason to cover up or hide, since she isn’t even naked, just lounging in the water with her swimsuit on. Even if she had undressed, she would probably only be putting herself on display now, just as enthusiastic in showing off to a romantic partner as she is in everything else.

Jade isn’t falling into the trap of admiring her now, She says nothing, steps into the room and throws the balled up skirt at her. She smiles in victory as it hits its mark, whapping the troll girl in the face before crumpling down into the water, slowly sinking into a sopping wet mess.

“Rude!” Feferi snaps, wipes at her face a little and resituates herself in the tub, makes the water inside slosh and splatter, “What the hake was that for?”

“You know exactly what that’s for,” Jade insists, arms crossed, hip cocked to one side. She’s the picture of sass, grumpy and rumpled  and half-dressed and everything that Feferi would usually say is just so _CUTE_ , but it’s not quite as adorable when there’s a bone to pick.

Feferi keeps pouting at her, glances down at the pile of wet fabric in her lap, back up to Jade, and asks in a practiced calm tone, “You’re mad because I borrowed your skirt?”

“Because you _ruined_ it,” Jade corrects, and watches as Feferi lifts the water sodden fabric. Even soaked through and wrinkled up, she can see the way the skirt has been destroyed, cut in strips up the sides, twisted and tortured around the waistband.

It looks suspiciously like one of Feferi’s own tricolor beach cover-ups.

“Really?” The troll girl says, grins with a hundred pointed teeth, “I like to think I made it _betta_!”

She giggles a tiny blip of a laugh, drapes the skirt over the side of the bathtub and lets it drip, drip, drip, drip, drip onto the floor.

It takes a real effort for Jade to keep from launching herself across the room and hitting her.

The kind of romance is new to her, kismesitude. It’s unfamiliar and still slightly uncomfortable, but she at least knows better than to dive into a fight too early. It isn’t appropriate for a relationship as young as theirs. She has to learn to keep her quick temper in check.

She strides up to the side of the tub, leans in over Feferi and plays it calm, casual, like she isn’t _this_ close to snapping at her, and after a moment, she isn’t anymore. Vicious as it is, Feferi’s smile is contagious, and soon Jade’s expression is an uneasy copy of the one worn by the girl in her bathtub.

“I don’t know how people do things where you come from,” She says, and it sounds so strange to her own ears, being on the other end of the comment for once, “But where _I’m_ from, it’s common courtesy to ask before you borrow things. And also to not rip up other people’s clothes!”

Feferi’s smile turns cheeky, mischievous, and Jade knows what she’s thinking before she even gets the next giggle out, “You don’t usually mind when I rip your clothes off, you know!”

She reaches out a hand to snatch at her shirt, but Jade leans away, keeping the tank top out of reach and sending her into another bout of frustrated pouting.

“Also,” Feferi adds, settling back into the water after being thwarted, “Where I’m from I get to do whatelver I want.”

That much Jade knows is true. Feferi is some kind of ocean princess, from what she understands, and her attitude certainly reflects it. She’s constantly trying to take control, boss people around in the sweetest possibly way. She does as she pleases and if anyone tells her she’s wrong, she just yells at them.

That took some getting used to, the yelling. Jade has never had anyone yell at her in person before, not even her grandfather when he was alive.

Thankfully, she knows how to raise her voice too.

“Well we aren’t where you’re from!” She argues, bends over so they’re face to face, can both narrow their eyes accordingly, “And you can’t do whatever the shell you want when _my_ stuff is on the line!”

Feferi smirks at her, the little victory grin she gets whenever Jade tosses an oceanic pun her way, and sits up carefully till she can bump the very tip of her nose to Jade’s. Her skin is cool, damp, makes Jade shiver immediately, and once she’s started she can’t stop. It flows right up to her ears, makes them twitch, makes Feferi giggle all over again.

“Maybe you need to visit where I’m from then,” She suggests, eyelids lowered as suggestively as could be, and damn if it isn’t a little inviting.

Jade tilts her head back, resisting the call for an eskimo kiss, “What are you talking about? We can’t go-“

Feferi interrupts her, reaching up to grab the shirt she’d been trying to steal earlier and pulling her sharply forward. She’s much stronger than she looks, and with just that tug she lifts Jade’s feet from the floor, brings her sprawling face first into water and soft, wet fabric. Above the splashing and giggling she can just make out a screech of, “Under water!” the punch line she didn’t realize was coming.

The water isn’t cold exactly, but Feferi’s let it sit long enough that it raises goosebumps all along Jade’s exposed legs, send a chill through her that grips her heart for just a moment, shivers through her ribs and outward. Her nipples harden at the shock, press to soft points against the wet fabric of her shirt, and if she didn’t know any better she’d say Feferi had pulled her in here for that reason alone. The girl is eyeing her like a hungry shark, barely wasting any time before sliding her hands over the backs of Jade’s thighs, up further to cup her ass.

She pinches it, lightly at first, then hard enough to make Jade yelp and shift her weight, scoot out of her slightly sideways position and right up into Feferi’s lap. The water churns with the movement and long after it’s settled Jade is still growling quietly.

 “You’re playing dirty again,” She says warningly.

“ _You’re_ getting hooked on obvious tricks, idiot,” Feferi fires back, smiling as she says it.

The insult falls like dead weight to the bottom of the sea, glaringly obvious in an otherwise sparkling speech. Each nasty word makes the fur on Jade’s ears stand up straighter, makes her tense.

 “You’re _awful_ ,” She says, like she’s sick, like she wants to turn the whole room over and break every tiny thing inside of it.

A mouth full of sharp little teeth is smiling up at her, and when she looks closely she can find the one that’s chipped, the one _she_ chipped. She keeps her eyes on it as dark lips move, purse, part with a purr, “You love it.”

Jade’s face goes hot and even though she knows she’s playing right into the trap, following every move the way it was laid out in the _Blackrom Basics_ book Karkat insisted on giving her, she can’t keep her voice from rising to a sharp yelp, “I can’t _stand_ you!”

Feferi darts up to kiss her hard on the mouth, and in a matter of seconds she can feel that same chipped tooth pressing into her lip, catching slightly on her tongue. Feferi moans softly and the sound is a distinctive _glub_ , lost to the cavern of Jade’s mouth.

The hands cupping her backside press and pull her in closer, deeper, saturating her clothes with cool water and making her gasp. She resists, leaning away and showing her teeth, reminding Feferi that she’s still mad and just a startling little kiss isn’t going to derail her so easily.

“You’re the biggest stick in the shell I have ever seen,” The troll sighs, as though it’s a real effort just to hang around her.

“ _You’re_ a giant pain in the ass!” Jade fires back.

“Don’t talk to me about pains in the tailside, missy, you have a way bigger butt than me!”

“That’s not even what that means, fuckass!”

“Fuckass? That’s original, have you been talking to Karcrab again?”

“Shut up already!” Jane snaps, putting an end to their banter with a slight shove, pressing Feferi back against the wall of the tub and going in for another quick kiss that certainly isn’t as pointless as Feferi’s own attempt, goodness no.

It’s a messy affair, all splashing and scratching and biting, but when their tongues meet and twist just so, the arguments they were each mentally preparing are forgotten in favor of getting as close as possible.

Already half soaked, Jade can’t think of a good reason to protest when Feferi murmurs against her neck that she wants to get her out of those wet clothes. She makes a persuasive argument, one that comes mostly in the form of slick, cool hands inching beneath Jade’s clinging underwear, grabbing her ass and scratching her thighs slightly as she drags the fabric halfway down, nails digging in just enough to sting.

Her lips are warm, heated by their proximity to Jade’s own, but her tongue is still cold, a sharp contrast to the heat of Jade’s mouth as it slips over her lips, as she makes herself comfortable.

Feferi’s hands roam, fluid over Jade’s back, down her sides and back up to drag at her shirt, cup her breasts, down again, and all the while Jade’s fingers grasp her hips, grounded. She holds Feferi down, shifts in the water and doesn’t care as the dwindling contents of the tub splash over the sides. She settles on one of the girl’s thighs, rolls her hips and moans a little against her mouth.

Getting off under water is damn near impossible, she’s tried it before and it just never seems to work, but that doesn’t stop her from doing what she can.

It doesn’t stop Feferi from flushing pink-purple, from arching up and hissing at Jade to _touch_ her, stupid, fucking _touch_ her already.

And Jade would have been touching her ten minutes ago if only for the fact that she wanted to hear her say it, angry and itching for contact.

She slides a hand between Feferi’s legs, presses her fingers just right and strokes, grins because Feferi _can_ get off under water, and she has every intention of making the girl go boneless.

Her glasses are speckled with water, almost impossible to see through, but it hardly matters when Feferi is dipping her head back, inviting a kiss, a bite, to the currently unmarked skin of her throat.

She gasps, squirms against Jade’s hand, purrs that it’s good to do this with someone who isn’t afraid to bruise her.

For some reason there aren’t any trolls around willing to leave the empress-to-be covered in scratches and bites. Jade sees no problem with it. Her friends can tease her about being a wild child all they like, they don’t know the satisfaction of biting a deep, dark magenta circle into the shoulder of a whimpering sea troll.

The sleek fins on either side of Feferi’s head quiver with every breathy gasp, her gills fluttering pointlessly, moved by passing air. She’s as alien as they come, even stranger looking than any of the other trolls Jade has met, but she certainly is beautiful.

With her hair spread out and floating limp around her, she looks like a storybook mermaid painted a few shades too grey, sporting garish horns that suggest something much more sinister than a playful sprite. Jade brushes one of those horns as she moves a wet strand of hair out of Feferi’s eyes, blurring the lenses of her goggles just as badly as her own glasses.

She’s braided this hair during sleepovers, tugged strands of it in her fists during heated fights, and now the temptation to do both are neck and neck.

She combs Feferi’s hair back, keeps a light hold near her scalp as she moves her fingers against the outside of the girl’s bathing suit and listens to her moan. It doesn’t take much longer to get her fingers _inside_ the bathing suit, and although the fabric is clingy and springs back around her hand, makes it difficult to work around, she has Feferi purring soon enough.

She isn’t hard to please, and at this point Jade knows just how to curl her fingers, which way to twist her hand so Feferi’s nook clenches and the girl squeaks out a ‘fuck!’ like she’s no princess at all. She pulls at Jade’s clothes in what could be confused as desperation, what she knows is actually something frighteningly close to bloodlust. Her tanktop ends up half on, half off, wrinkled and stained with tiny streaks of blood where nails cut too deep.

Jade tightens her fingers in Feferi’s hair, listens to the series of sharp swears that follow degenerate into glubs and swallowed sobs, the short cry that leaves her breathless as she shivers head to toe and goes limp, dazed.

She chirps a sigh, lets her head loll back for a moment as Jade retreats, seizes up and squeaks again when a slick set of knuckles nudges oversensitive skin. A sharp glance puts an end to that sneaky maneuver, and soon enough Jade has tugged her hand free of the clingy bathing suit and sits back to stare at her, smiling smugly, eyebrows raised in challenge.

Her own hair has dipped into the bathwater, gotten heavy at the tips, and when she sits up straight it splays over her chest, paints her the picture of Lady Godiva in a bathtub riding a vicious fish princess.

Feferi bares her teeth, though it looks a lot like a smile, gives a shrill laugh and says, “Well aren’t you a little piranha?”

Jade laughs with her, caught on the borderline between snarky and honestly admiring.

“I like to think I’m a lot more gentle than a piranha!”

“You still bite, though!”

“Only a little…”

“More than a little! Look at these marks! They’re like a second set of gills!”

“Pshhhh,” Jade waves a hand at her, dismissive, reaches up to lift her blurred glasses off, “My bark is worse than my bite!”

Feferi pouts her lips, scoffs, “Oh you did _not_ just make a dog joke.”

“Hey! With all the puns you throw around I’m entitled to a few!”

“The only thing you’re entitled to is a bass kicking!”

Feferi’s laughter bubbles up again, a fresh wave of giddy pleasure as she regains her composure, pushes herself into a sitting position and throws her arms around Jade in a tight hug.

She kisses her on the lips, nowhere near as rough as before, then again, and again, until she pulls away and kneels so they’re nearly nose to nose. She smiles, all sweet softness, and slides her hands around to the curve of Jade’s hips, presses gently to coax her into kneeling too.

Jade moves with her, getting up on her knees and tipping her head to avoid a pair of horns. She grips the sides of the tub and waits, watches, gets fed up in less than two seconds and asks, “What are you trying to do?”

Depending on her mood, Feferi could just as easily tip her right out of the bathtub as lift her in a tender embrace. It’s hard to trust a girl who claims to hate you not to hurt you. But she seems content that Jade is kneeling, raised almost entirely out of the water, and as slim, webbed fingers hook the sodden elastic of her underwear and pull down, the girl throws her another grin.

“You look like a drowned squeakbeast right now,” She says, leaves the comment hanging for Jade to retort. All she gets in response is a low growl, a stern expression that melts into a gasp when she slides her fingers delicately down the front of the Jade’s panties, just barely brushes waterlogged skin. Jade goes hot under her touch, the change in sensitivity immediate now that she’s above water.

Jade rests her glasses precariously on the edge of the tub, flinches a little when they drop to the floor with a wet clatter. She starts to snap something about how if they’re broken she’s holding Feferi responsible, but the troll is already scooting back in the small space, ducking down to kiss a path from her sternum to her belly, lower still, till Jade’s breath hitches and she scrambles to get her underwear out of the way herself.

Feferi nestles herself comfortably between Jade’s legs, encourages her to tilt back at the hips and giggles so close to her skin it sends a shiver down her spine.

“Hold on tight now,” She warns, “You’re in a tetrarous position over here and I don’t want to have to tell your friends I accidentally cracked your skull open during a black affair. They’ll probably take it the wrong way.”

Jade rolls her eyes, wrinkles her nose a little in irritation as she grips the sides of the tub tighter, “I think I know how to stay upright.”

She does, really. It’s a simple thing, kneeling in a few inches of water without wiping out completely, but somehow when Feferi slides her hands down to rest at her thighs, flicks out a tongue that’s too long and too dark to be anything close to human, it becomes harder than expected to keep from tipping over.

The floor of the tub is slick under her knees, even her handholds on the sides a bit slippery, and when Feferi arches her back further than what seems natural, cranes her neck a little to tease Jade into shaking with the tip of her tongue, she nearly slips twice.

“Still don’t have your sea legs, hm?” Feferi teases, laughs aloud till she muffles herself against the comparative heat of Jade’s body. Her tongue feels cool, slick and slightly rough, like the lapping of waves, and just like the tide she’s a force to be reckoned with, making Jade’s toes curl, dragging a keening moan out of her with each teasing touch.

The muscles in her thighs strain to keep her balanced, and when Feferi drags the tips of her fingers over the backs of her knees, just barely pulling over sensitive, ticklish skin, her whole body jerks forward.

Feferi forces sounds out of her, little halting gasps that start to sound way too much like desperation for Jade’s liking, and rather than give in and act like she’s enjoying herself she picks a fight, mouths off while Feferi is preoccupied.

“You still o-owe me a skirt,” She says, pleased when her voice only comes out a little shaky, “Don’t think this ff-fixes things!”

Feferi flicks her tongue in response and Jade translates it loosely as _whatever I’ll do what I want_ , which is clearly not the attitude to have about these sort of things.

If she weren’t concerned about falling over she’d take Feferi by the horns and make her listen, but as it is her fingers are slipping against damp porcelain and she doesn’t trust herself to let go. It’s true, what Feferi said about her friends taking it the wrong way, and she’s pretty sure that if she whacked her head on the side of the tub John would be off and seeking justice, that Dave might cry.

“I’m st-still fucking pissed at you!” She snaps, distracts herself, and the words rise to a snarl toward the end, taper to a whimper and a whine as Feferi redoubles her efforts to make her see stars, moans a little and the smothered sound sets Jade all on edge.

That edge is the pinnacle of frustration, a terrible moment that lasts way too long, snaps to a sharp conclusion far too soon as she jerks up and gasps a shuttering cry. She bucks her hips slightly as Feferi teases her, getting back at her, abusing her position until Jade finally wrenches a hand free from the side of the tub and makes a clumsy grab for her horns, snatching one at the base and forcing her away.

“C-cut that the fuck out,” She says, worn out, worn down, and Feferi only narrows her eyes for a moment before smiling slyly and shaking her hand loose, scooting back.

“You’re no fun,” She says, but her clearly pleased expression is betraying her. She sits back then, gives Jade room to sink fully onto her tired knees, resting her weight on the floor of the tub. They square off, share a competitive glance, then a smile. They relax into each other.

The tension between them dissipates like so much water vapor, leaving them slumped together in a wet mass, looking at nothing in particular and calculating their next moves. Lounging in a shallow pool of now-cold water is the most appealing option for two pairs of still-shaky legs. So slumped is where they stay, taking turns tracing patterns on each other’s arms, pinching the skin just to be a bother.

“You ruined _all_ of my clothes today,” Jade muses, closes her eyes to just feel for a moment as Feferi reaches up to brush the edge of one delicate, white-trimmed ear.

“You ruined my bath, so we’re even.”

“That’s not even close to even!”

Feferi flicks the edge of her ear, giggles as Jade growls in warning, “Down girl, I’m not anglering for another fight today.”

And she sounds pretty sincere, sort of sighs and leans over to rest her head against Jade’s shoulder, like she’s perfectly content right in that spot. She’s bitten and bruised, black lips curled into a slightly kiss-swollen smile, and for the moment she looks perfectly innocent. Not at all like a hissing ball of venomous attitude cloaked in thick layers of cheer.

Jade isn’t sure if she’s angling for another fight or not. She thinks she’d be perfectly happy to keep up the arguing for another hour, maybe two, but Feferi’s anger comes in lightning flashes to her own rumbling thunder snarl, so perhaps this storm has passed.

Her stolen skirt is still bleeding a pool of water on the floor, waiting to be collected as evidence for tomorrow’s shouting match, or forgotten entirely for a day of strange and blissful quiet.

Jade frowns and scoffs and she’s not sure who won.

“Fine,” She says, gives in for the day and rests her pruney fingers on Feferi’s air-chilled hip. She strokes from fabric to skin and back up again, and listens to the gentle _slish slosh_ of moved water around them.

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End file.
